Mother Love

I have a confession to make. I’m a “people watcher”. I like to observe interactions between people. It might have something to do with the “airport game” my Dad taught me when I was a child. In order to pass the time and probably to keep us seated, my Dad would try to guess the professions of the travelers that came our way.

At a young age, I learned that this game was fun to apply in other settings especially when I needed to pass the time. The airport game is fun at the grocery store, while furniture shopping, or even while standing in line. This is a good game to play pretty much anywhere.

So, here I am a grown-up, and still loving the airport game. Sometimes I miss majorly important things like appointments, details in conversation (and I’m generally disorganized), but I can be very detailed when it comes to the behaviors of people both verbal and non-verbal.

Last summer, I spent the day with my husband and kids at a theme park. At the end of the day, we were standing there waiting for the tram to carry our wearied little group to our vehicle. AND….I really can’t help it….I just started playing the airport game. I started to notice the behavior of tired people.

* I noticed that some people were irritable,
* Some were impatient,
* Some were slap happy and giddy,
* While others were silent from complete exhaustion caused by intense fun and heat mixed together.

But, I noticed a young mother with beautiful, long, brown hair who was holding her 18-month old son. This little one was completely worn out from a day of swimming, riding, and trekking around the park.

The mother looked very uncomfortable as she stood with her back bowed while trying to carefully balance the small blanket just perfectly across her baby’s face. Finally a tram came along; and, since the “line” was more like a huddled mass of people, the masses quickly moved around the young mother. The poor woman was trying to stoop for her 50 lb. diaper bag full of many regular items, including a small preparation in case of natural disaster, while the Dad carried a child about age 3 or 4 and a Cadillac size stroller.

Preparedness seems really important to most women. Some women pride themselves on being very prepared. No shame in that. In fact, being prepared is the hallmark of good mothering, thus the legend of the larger than life diaper bag. I know these women, along with their prepared bags, are ready for a variety of unlikely events.

There are the normal events such as diaper changes, extra pacifiers, snacks, and changes of clothing. This requires a lot of “things”. For example, consider the pins. Have you ever asked a mother for a pin? And her response is, “What kind? I have an ink pen, bobby pin, safety pin, or a tide pen.” Then she spreads them out before you and the warmth exudes from her smile because she is prepared.

BUT, the truly prepared mothers are prepared for UNUSUAL EVENTS. I swear, if a kid in the mall chokes on a recalled toy, and a surgeon happens to walk by and make a quick assessment that the child needs an emergency tracheotomy and hollers, “Does anyone have a scalpel?” You can bet the person handing the Dr. the tool will be a mother with a diaper bag.

Now, back to the theme park with huddled masses swarming around the mother lugging her son. So, the Dad hoisted the stroller on his shoulder and began to try to merge into the mass of irritable, impatient, giddy and exhausted people; but, before the family could get it together, the other people (pained with great desperation to escape the theme park) had flooded past them and filled the tram.

Do you ever feel like that? Like life is passing you by. You are trying, but circumstances are causing you to be squeezed out. Obstacles and barriers are trying to prevent you from making it to your destination.

I thought for sure that someone would see that this woman was carrying a sleeping baby and offer a seat. I would have offered my seat, but I had become so enamored by the plight of this family and consumed with how I could help that I missed the tram myself!

I was thinking, “How can I help?”

* I had thought to try to pick up the 50 lb. diaper bag. A risky move given my poor upper body strength, which was so clearly demonstrated during a recent stint in the Abs and Arms class at our gym.
* I thought to create a diversion so the woman could sneak on the train…maybe by saying, “Anyone lose this $100 bill?” Because you know you are broke when you are leaving a theme park.
* I thought to scream, “Hey! We’ve all been trapped in here today for the sake of “family fun”, but this woman is carrying a sleeping baby…..you bunch of jerks!”

But instead I just stood there like “duh”, and did nothing. The woman sighed and plopped her bag down. Unfortunately, the dropping of the gargantuan bag woke the tired little bundle. I am thinking, “Hmm, this could get ugly quick. Tired, cranky baby combined with exhausted, worn out Mommy surrounded by rude and obnoxious people….equals….TANTRUM!”

To my surprise, this Mom’s tired and somewhat frustrated expression immediately became sweet and endearing. The baby rubbed his sleepy eyes and the mother cooed and comforted him.

It occurred to me that I was observing a sacred exchange between mother and child. The baby was clearly comforted by his Mommy’s nurturing touch, soothing talk, and gentle expression.

During a college course, I heard a professor say, “A mother is a child’s first impression of who God is.” How awesome! This nurturing love that I witnessed parallels the love of Christ. Paul describes this kind of love perfectly in Romans 8:35-39.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or sword? V.38 For I am persuaded that neighter death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nothings present, nor things to come, V. 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galatians 5:22 says that love is a Fruit of the Spirit

I Corinthians 13:4-8 says this….

Love is patient, kind, long suffering, it does not envy, it is not proud or puffed up, it doesn’t promote self, love doesn’t think evil, love doesn’t rejoice in iniquity.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.
Love doesn’t fail

Eph 5:2 says, “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.”

And WHY should we do this? WHY should we be so careful to walk in love?

Because every human being needs this interaction.

Because every single person deserves to receive this type of pure love.

To the same depth that it is completely heartwarming to witness the expression of “mother-love”, it is equally as devastating to know that there are children around the world who lack or never experience this love. There are adults who have never experienced this type of perfect love.

While I can’t re-create the intimacy of the moment I witnessed for another human being, I can accept my responsibility to give nurturing and loving messages to others.

Remember the baby? It was the nurturing touch, soothing talk and gentle expression that comforted him. Sometimes we forget the value of simple things. I can add value to the lives of those around me by doing very simple things that cost me nothing but kindness.

I can…….

* Use soothing talk to give a compliment to someone who lacks self-confidence.
* Nurture someone with touch by giving a hug or a pat on the back.
* Make eye contact sending the message that what you have to say is important to me.
* Share a gentle expression just by smiling.
* Laugh – Haiti boys in the pool wanting us to watch and laugh – Asking, “Can you delight in me?” “Do you enjoy my company?”
* Listen

When I was in Haiti last summer, I had an “ah-ha” moment while the boys were swimming. Our orphanage is an old hospital building that was given to us by the Haitian Government. We have two physical therapy pools that are really too small for swimming, but we fill them up every summer and let the boys have a good time. I noticed that several of the smaller boys came my way. They were being very playful, and acting silly. I then noticed that they would do silly things and look at me for a response. It was as if they were asking questions with their eyes. They were saying, “Can you delight in me?” or “Do you enjoy my company?” Of course, I immediately began acting a fool myself by laughing and returning the funny faces. It was a terrific day that I will always remember. People of all ages are asking these same questions every day. They want to know if you enjoy their company, or if you find any value in who they are.

Eph 5:1-2 in the NIV says to “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love just a Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

I know this is a long devotion and if you are still reading, then I thank you. I want to close this devotion with a poem that was written by a young woman I saw for counseling. Tragically, she never received the love and attention that she needed from her parents. They were sucked down a path of destruction as the temptation of drugs and alcohol stole the safety and security their children should have felt from them. Despite missing many important elements in her childhood, this young woman knew exactly what it meant to need a pure and undefiled love as she penned this poem.

I can track my psychological progress in my own mind.

Although without your stimulation I would fall behind.

There would be no contractions, congratulations, or satisfaction.

Knowing why and understanding are grounds without traction.

The measures that we set become invisible while expectations diminish.

The only thing that matter is what we’re left with when we finish.

May you grow to learn to not only receive the pure love of Jesus Christ, but to let it shine bright and spill into the lives of others.